As we were on our
way, traveling through Bosnia in October, I was filled with
fresh excitement in spiritually exploring the land.
When God spoke to
my heart some thirty years ago about the Balkan nations, in particular
former-Yugoslavia, He filled me with a love and zeal for the
people groups of this region of Europe. Through the years,
especially the years immediately following the Bosnian Civil War (1992-1995), I
longed to return and live in Sarajevo.
Now, finally, as
that desire seems to become soon a reality, one might think that I would be very
thrilled. To my big surprise during the trip in October, I had to battle a
mixture of emotions. Deep in my heart, I knew the Lord was calling us back to
live in Sarajevo and to pioneer a new church, but I was
struggling. While visiting with Bosnian believers from city to city, hearing
again about their daily experiences and challenges dealing with life and
ministry in their nation, I began to question my own expectations and
motivations. I was confronted with the fact that I had changed, also, through
the years. Evolving from the pioneer church planter in pre-war
Bosnia, willing to sacrifice everything including my life to
birth the church in Sarajevo, to now becoming one who has
settled into the comforts and security of Americanized christianity and
lifestyle.
Having now visited
Bosnia in both April and October of this year, I have begun to
filter through my impressions about both the physical, social and spiritual
conditions of the nation. Sarajevo is not the same
Sarajevo I knew before the war. With the nation and it’s
capital city more ethnically divided than ever before between Bosniaks, Serbs
and Croats, the spiritual oppression is heavy. After four years of barbaric
warfare – neighbor killing neighbor, hatred, unforgiveness, bitterness,
hopelessness – it seemed those demonic spirits were calling out their names to
me. I was not sure if I truly wanted to face again the spiritual warfare.
Thoughts would come to me, saying, “Why should I go to Bosnia?
Why should I live in such a dark place and have to give up my comfortable
life?”
One day I would
feel excited, the next day I felt I wanted to fly home as soon as possible. As I
battled with those thoughts and emotions, I realized I was in a warfare with
spiritual principalities of darkness who are ruling Bosnia and
Sarajevo, and also in a battle with my own flesh. One morning
in Sarajevo, during my morning devotions, God led me to the
Biblical story of Jonah. Jonah did not want to go to Nineveh
because he saw the people as his enemies. He didn’t want God to save or bless
the enemies of Israel. Jonah was very nationalistic, and he felt God should be
the same way. And above all, why should Jonah leave the comfort of
Israel and go to a people who are not his own? Feeling much
like Jonah, I was asking myself in light of Bosnian history, “Do you really want
to give up the comfortable life? And live with a people who keep killing one
another? Muslim, Orthodox, Catholic, all against one another – who are you to
preach to them? Who is going to listen to you? What difference can your life
make?”
Then I read Jonah
4:9-11, and saw the selfishness of Jonah. While he awaited for God’s destructive
judgment to fall on the 120,000 inhabitants of the ungodly city of
Nineveh, God caused a vine to quickly grow and give Jonah a
comfortable shade to sit under. However, the Lord caused the vine to quickly
die, to which the prophet complained about. That word pierced my soul. I saw my
own selfishness and ‘coldness of heart’ toward the 400,000 inhabitants of
Sarajevo. If God’s love was so great for a city of 120,000
inhabitants, how much more is His love for a city of 400,000. With only 150
Protestant believers in the city, only 500 in the nation, surely He has only
begun to show His love and power for salvation and healing.
“Then God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be
angry about the plant? And he said, “It is right for me to be angry, even to
death!” But the Lord said, “You have had pity on the plant for which you have
not labored, nor made it grow, which came up in a night and perished in a night.
And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which are
more than 120,000 persons who cannot discern between their right hand and their
left – and much livestock?” Jonah 4:9-11 (NKJV)
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom
shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”
Isaiah 6:8 (NKJV)
“When He saw the multitudes, He was moved with
compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no
shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but
the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest, therefore to send
out laborers into His harvest.” Matthew 9:36-38 (NKJV)
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